I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize