Where are you?
In a non slutty way
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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