that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
