Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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