so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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