Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
