I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
He told me they were just razor bumps!
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
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