I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize