Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
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