You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize