he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Randomize
