Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
