went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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