he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
My pussy is not your playground.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
