New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
