Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize