I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
