This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Randomize
