I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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