I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
