Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
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