i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
