I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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