frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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