You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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