Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize