Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
