Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
