So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
