Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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