i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize