I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
