I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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