Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
