Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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