Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
