Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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