Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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