Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
