i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
