omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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