In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize