I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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