Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
