Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
