I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
