she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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