Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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