I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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