I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
