Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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