Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
