is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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