What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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