Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
