I want to walk on stilts...naked
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
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