How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
