i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize