Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
