after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Randomize
