Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
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