this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
