It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
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