She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
