She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
