she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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