some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize